Projection Ain’t It
Why do people take other people’s lives so personally?
I am always striving to understand the underlying workings of egotism in depression. This whole series of “why me”, “this always happens to me”, “everyone hates me”. It’s sad but unfortunately very self centered in thought. Two opposite ends of the spectrum I’m noticing come together to just form a cycle. You have the narcissist/sociopath who is strictly focused on being the best or never wrong (they usually lack self worth) and the depressive person who thinks the whole world is against them. It’s not an easy task to accomplish but learning to accept the fact that your feelings are a projection(an illusion, if you will) and really hold no basis in fact.
To sit there and squirm in your own bullshit and then complain about the world is severely detrimental to your true mental health and growth. There’s much to be said for a chemical imbalances but even more to be proven for reconstructing neurological pathways. Taking the time to understand the science of the brain will help you understand that you are more than a diagnosis and you can create a better you at any point in time.
I am a perfect example of this. I went from a loose diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder to being told my range of emotions are completely valid. I even had the therapist scratching her head as to why someone would ever think this. Because guess what? We are COMPLEX. We are allowed to feel multiple feelings at once. We are allowed to yell. We are allowed to be mad. We are allowed to be depressed. It just depends of you are willing to observe and grow from it. It takes a lot of upstream swimming through old traumas and bullshit to make it but it’s worth it. The moment I realized I am not defined by my outbursts was the moment I realized I could be better. So that’s exactly what I did: got better.
Don’t get me wrong. I still have depression because that’s a chemical imbalance but I also have taught myself how to wield the tools of life and the world to make that darkness a little lighter. You have to let go of yourself and see the bigger picture. Create your boundaries and build up your own kingdom and see how quickly you rise to power in your own mental space.